Part 4 | May or May Not

No idea what day it is, it’s may though

may or may not be okay.

may or may not be thriving.

may or may not be running on 2% social battery.

may or may not have eaten dinner.

may or may not be in my main character era (but like... off-screen).

i blinked and suddenly it’s may.

wasn’t it just february five minutes ago?

and now the sky’s hotter, my to-do list is longer,

and i may or may not still be figuring things out.

(okay, i am still figuring things out.)

may is weird.

it's not quite mid-year, but it feels like it.

like you’re supposed to have your life semi-together by now,

but you’re still overthinking what you said in that one convo 3 months ago.

and you still haven’t replied to that one message.

and you still haven’t washed your tote bag.

i’ve been trying to catch up with everything.

assignments. goals. rest. people.

but may is moving like a playlist on shuffle:

no structure. just vibes.

things i did in may (so far):

- got excited for no reason

- got overwhelmed right after

- planned an aesthetic routine i did not follow

- scrolled till my eyes hurt

- journaled once and called it “progress”

- said “i’ll sleep early” and didn’t

and honestly,

that’s okay.

because sometimes may is just…

being here.

still trying.

even if you don’t have a five-step plan.

even if you’re just vibing in soft chaos.

“may or may not have it all together,

but may or may not be doing my best.”

— Naz

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Echoes of Home

In the vast city's gleaming light, Where dreams and stars align, I chase the promises of night, Yet something tugs inside. Amidst the bustling, crowded streets, Where shadows dance and fade, A whisper of a distant beat, Calls from the life I made. Beneath the urban, restless hum, I hear a softer tune, The murmurs of where I come from, Beneath the harvest moon. The scent of earth, the touch of rain, The warmth of faces dear, A place where love and memories reign, And hearts are always near. Though towers rise and futures gleam, In concrete and in steel, I wander back in every dream, To where the soul can heal. For in the noise and in the haste, In every path I roam, The echoes of my past embrace, And guide me gently home. — Naz

Part 1 | These Emotions

Being an adult is not as beautiful as imagined. For example, like having a boyfriend, many friends, spending adolescence with fun. But it turned out not to be so, because in the end I came to know that being an adult is not just fun, but there is also a big responsibility that must be carried. The greatest responsibility is responsibility to oneself. How to control these emotions and passions. Emotions can control many things in this person when they cannot be controlled properly. Happiness, sadness, disappointment, anger, fear, and other emotions become part of the self. I will tell you that we must be good at controlling emotions. The impact of emotions can affect the people around us. — Naz

Part 2 | Thesis, Tears & Too Many Tabs

hi. it's me. your local tired student. and guess what? thesis is done. done. (yes, i’m still in shock) there were moments i really thought i wouldn’t make it. not to be dramatic—but like... dramatic. things that happened: cried in front of my laptop (multiple times) rewrote chapter 1... four times lived off caffeine and sheer panic made 20+ drafts of one table googled “what if your thesis sucks but you tried” at 3 AM i wasn’t always productive. some days, i opened the doc, stared for two hours, then closed it. some days, i wrote one paragraph and felt like a genius. it was all messy. inconsistent. full of doubt. but somehow, progress still happened. my brain during the process: “you got this!” → “no u don’t.” “ok one last edit.” → rewrites entire section “this is nonsense.” → “but like... academic nonsense?” and now i’m here. ready to register for defense. still tired. still recovering. but proud. of every breakdown, every tiny win, every night i didn’t q...

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