Blog Naz

 So here i am. staring at my phone, wondering what i should have for breakfast. but also wondering if i should even eat breakfast at all. because like… who’s got the time for breakfast when there’s the existential dread of being an adult? let's start with the basics: what’s for breakfast? should i make pancakes? but i don’t have the energy for pancakes. maybe cereal? but do i even have milk? ok fine, toast? wait, do i even have bread? …and then there’s the money issue. my bank account says, “we’ve been here for a while,” and i'm like, yeah, but not in a good way. i try to budget—i swear i do. but then i remember that one online shop had a 50% off sale, and suddenly, my money's gone faster than my will to get out of bed. and then i think, i should probably do something productive today. maybe read? but my attention span is shorter than a TikTok video. maybe exercise? but… uh, no. let’s be real, my body’s not feeling it today. staying in bed and scrolling through memes seems ...

hi. it's me. your local tired student. and guess what? thesis is done. done. (yes, i’m still in shock) there were moments i really thought i wouldn’t make it. not to be dramatic—but like... dramatic. things that happened: cried in front of my laptop (multiple times) rewrote chapter 1... four times lived off caffeine and sheer panic made 20+ drafts of one table googled “what if your thesis sucks but you tried” at 3 AM i wasn’t always productive. some days, i opened the doc, stared for two hours, then closed it. some days, i wrote one paragraph and felt like a genius. it was all messy. inconsistent. full of doubt. but somehow, progress still happened. my brain during the process: “you got this!” → “no u don’t.” “ok one last edit.” → rewrites entire section “this is nonsense.” → “but like... academic nonsense?” and now i’m here. ready to register for defense. still tired. still recovering. but proud. of every breakdown, every tiny win, every night i didn’t q...

 hi again. so… i disappeared.   not for anything dramatic.   just naps, uni, and the occasional spiral of "i’ll write tomorrow".   spoiler alert: i didn’t. the guilt? oh, it visited.   but so did stress, deadlines, and that weird craving for instant noodles at 2 AM. i missed this space though—this lil bubble of thoughts and overthinking.   i missed writing without pressure.   i missed talking to the void. anyway, life update? — semester's been chaotic.  — discovered a new song track and cried a lil.   — my cat knocked over my coffee (again).   — i started journaling offline too (pen hits different sometimes). so here i am.   writing again.   not promising consistency, but promising honesty. thanks for staying.   if you did.   if not, hi future me. i hope you’re still writing. — Love, Naz